Solstice

I can't hide it anymore.  Five weeks ago...this happened.

That's the last I saw her...

This is really the last time...for awhile...

Leaving for a gypsy life...a dancingnomad leaves home again.

That's it...and they were off.  Pat and Emma left for parts unknown five weeks ago now.  We shed tears at their leaving.  Goodbyes I am never good at.  So long to our one and only and her beloved Pat...well, that's never easy.  I have seen her off at airports for destinations to China, Belize, Costa Rica, Ecuador, Scotland..all over the east coast seeing so many friends.  Saying goodbye after a late night concert she gave...knowing she was so tired but, had a 4 hour drive back to Vermont on no sleep, up that long Rte. 91 north because she had to be a permaculture class in the morning.  I always worry.  She has often gone off solo to parts unknown.  She's driven up and down the east coast many times and when she finally went on her own...she did it marathon style all the way to guitar "camp".  She hardly bats an eye at trying something new. 

This trip somehow seems a right of passage...like so many others.  An unschooled child...no wait, an adult...says, lets go cross country!  She makes it happen.  A serendipitous way that the lovely vintage 1978 Scamp landed in her hands on her birthday...just up the road from us from a neighbor.  What?!  You "wished for a Scamp" for your birthday???!!!  And so it is...that she and Pat have been gone all this time, living like gypsys...landing in so many places...hitting snow storms in New Mexico, visiting an important spot in Roswell, Texas, Arizona...currently in California.  They slept for a week amongst the giant Sequoias and took in all of their wisdom energy.  Yesterday I heard from her and she was laughing...always laughing on the phone...shouting out things like, "hey, look, look, look at that Saguaro cactus!"...or, "look at the birds...you should see the sky mama!".  She doesn't know it but, tears pour down my face.  I'm so happy for her.  I am so happy that she gets to take these adventures and discover deep parts of herself to take on the journey that she lands in next.   They are on the edge of the Pacific Ocean now for a week.  They wake up and look out over the ocean. which is amazing for this east coast girl.  Elephant seals greet them in the morning.  Whales are out there for her to see...seals dance in the waves for her to laugh out loud at! I just love all of her stories...

This is the first time we've been without her here at Christmas. Today...it just feels strange.  Emma has one of the biggest Christmas spirits I know...she loves this time of year.  She makes gifts for all of her friends, bakes for the entire month, is always concocting some new amazing craft for the holiday.  It's not here this year.   Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled she's on an adventure of a lifetime.  It seems there is no definite plan of coming back...when that might be...it sounded like returning with the spring might be an option...

Pat and Emma on leaving day.  This reassures a mama's heart....I love how he looks at her. How does one come back to living a life after being on the road, sleeping in the woods, spending all your moments with your beloved, breathing in nature, meeting new friends...moving, adventuring...how does one do that?  I'll wait to see...

Comments

[Susan]

Hey Linden, what a lovely girl! Her spirit just shoots out of her and I, too, love the way her boy is gazing at her ... they will be fine on their grand adventures. I hope you have wonderful holidays even with missing her.

[heather]

oh i love this!! (i still need to reply to your sweet email)

you know your family has always been such an inspiration to ours... and when i read this, knowing emma's spirit as i do, i can't help but hope for a similar life quest attitude from my own girl. and really, the way pat looks at her, no worries there, mama. that is love.

[Stephinie]

I found you via Heather (Beauty that moves)... totally bookmarking this space here. I'm in the midst of parenting my own teenagers and love what you have to say here... much love. ~s

[linden]

Susan! Thanks so much. As you know I have been so absent from this space but, still trying to show up here. I am wondering how you're doing sweet lady!

[linden]

Heather! You know we would have been great pals if your girls had been the same age! I know Emily will do wonderful things as well. I love reading about what you are up to. Thanks so much for linking to this post about Emma! You have always been so supportive and caring toward her.

[linden]

Stephanie! So great to meet you. Thank you so much for stopping by. I would love to hear about your adventures in homeschooling. It really is a different thing when kids are older isn't it? Please share any thoughts that you have here...

[Nichole]

Aw...this post is pulling on my heart strings. Those photos of her leaving. Your one and only. I think of my own journey which included leaving my mama. And I think of my one and only, my daughter, though only 2, one day...leaving. It's what all the hard work of parenting is about really. Doing it right so that one day they do it right. Even though the heart wants nothing of these necessary goodbyes.